This has been a lazy morning. Visiting grandkids are all sleeping late, except for Malia, who lies on the bed beside me and plays on my cell phone. I admit to being a spoiled grandmother. I have been lucky to have my five grandchildren with me a great deal throughout their lives. However, I feel that time slipping away.
Dusty, my oldest, turned 19 this week. He graduated from high school this year and has been called to go into the ministry. Dusty is his own person. He has the assurance that God has called him. He is dark and handsome like his Papa. I see my husband in him. He has his outgoing personality and his laughter and sense of humor. My husband had him golfing when he could barely walk. When he played baseball, he could bat left or right-handed and my husband had hopes he would grow up and play professional. After his Papa died, Dusty never played ball again. He told me that was just between him and his Pop. He was a fantastic Wrestler in high school.
Turning 50 did not bother me, but when Dusty got his driver’s license I felt suddenly shocked to have a grandson who could drive. How do the years speed by so quickly? My children shouldn’t be that old!
When he was 16, Dusty was suddenly no longer Grandmommy’s darling. He stopped visiting. Absolutely no kisses or hugs. He would not even say he loved me. It hurt so bad I thought I would die. Then, just as suddenly, after about a year and a half, he changed back into his loving self. He often comes to stay the night. He now calls me"Gram".
Next was Nikki. Tall, blue-eyed and blonde, Nikki could be a model if she wanted, but she has no interest in that sort of thing. She is very artistic and loves art and history. I always thought she would be an interior designer like me, but no. For years she wanted to be a vetinarian. Now she wants to teach.
My beautiful, sweet Nikki spent more time with me than anyone else. She stayed every Friday night with me, whether the other kids were visiting or not. Right before she turned 16 she just turned off her affection for me. No visits, no hugs or kisses. If I said, “I love you Nikki,” she would answer, “I know you do.” Of course, it hurt, but I was ready for it. This was normal, I admitted to myself. I will go through this with each of them and they will all come back to me as Dusty had. And she did.
My son’s children, who live in SC, have always spent Summer and Christmas vacation with me, but as they have grown and their interests have taken precedence, the time has grown shorter. This year, they could not come until July. I was sad about this, but not lonely.
Nikki spent nearly the entire month of June with me! She enjoyed driving me around. She helped paint the shelves I built in the kitchen. Nikki has a crazy sense of humor and we laughed for hours. We sat up all night, watching the entire series of “Absolutely Fabulous” on Netflix and laughing, laughing, laughing. I had forgotten how to laugh. How to open my mouth, lay back my head and laugh till tears streamed down my face. Nikki taught me how to laugh again.
When Austin, Malia, and Collin arrived, she went home. Poor kids! It has been obvious to me that they did not want to be here. They had things to do, people to be with, and a month in Georgia was not their idea of a good time. I love their mom for making them come. I am so happy they are here, but it is tinged with sadness, because I realize this is probably the last time they will come for a long visit.
Austin is blonde, tall and handsome. I can hardly believe it is my baby in the photo of him and his girl at the ROTC military ball. He is kind, a little shy, maybe, and he is an aggressive competitor like his Papa. Austin wants to be a Computer Engineer. He already has his driver’s permit, because he lives in SC.
Like all kids today, Austin is crazy about video games. He and Tater (Collin) usually argue over my game systems, but he now has an I-phone and does all his gaming on it. He has a large set of head-phones and the only time I have seen him without them is at church or in the pool. He is either talking to his girlfriend, friends or playing a game. Or sleeping. He stays up all night and sleeps during the day. We have had breakfast together a couple of times, while the other kids were still asleep and before he went to sleep. I think I have had three really great hugs and “I love you, Gramdma” out of him during this month. Sigh. I know he is next to go through the “distance” stage.
Malia is a beautiful brunette. When she was small, she looked like Shirley Temple, with unbelievably beautiful curls, which she now tames with a straightening iron. I really miss those curls! Quite the young lady, Malia is artistic and wants to be a lawyer. Malia reminds me of me when I was young. I can’t exactly say why. She has a great sense of humor and a very serious side. She absolutely did not want to come for this long visit. She has two half-siblings, babies, and as their little mother she misses them terribly. Thank goodness for modern communication technology! She has visited several nights with Nikki and it has relieved her boredom. She is musically talented as well. She plays the Viola and is in many concerts with her school. Malia has always looked at books and magazines with me and we shared our opinions of clothes, people, décor and more. The fact that we have not done this at all is a sure sign that she is already entering into the dreaded “distance” phase.
Tater (Collin) just turned 11 years old. He still shows his love and affection but freely admits to me that he did not want to come this year for such a long visit. Tater has the most beautiful eyes, with eyelashes that make girls jealous. He is highly intelligent like his dad and Papa. He reads well above his age level. He carries on conversations with the uncanny seriousness and depth that many adults find difficult. He is insightful and empathetic. He loves Wrestling and I feel he will follow in Dusty’s footsteps and be on the wrestling team. Tater's dream is to play football for UGA. Then, play professionally. He solemnly reports that teaching is his fallback plan.
I have always tried to make my grandchildren’s visits special. I have gathered a giant notebook of material on games and art projects, picnic ideas, and much more. I have taught them all the principles of art, light, and color. I have tried to give them the benefit of my own artistic experience and education. Now that they have grown into young adults I realize that I must now learn from them. I must understand their experiences and their tastes and desires. These are now the things that shape their lives.
Visits will now lessen to once or twice a month and even then I might not get them all at once. My son complained recently that there are times he cannot get all three because of various school events or activities with friends. He’s going to have it rough when they start dating!
Growing up is an experience we all must go through. At 57, I am still growing. Still learning. Inside this aging body, I am still 18! Still the Girl who was afraid of nothing and thought she could accomplish anything she set out to do. Fearless! Well, maybe not fearless anymore. I am intelligent enough, I hope, to give my grandbabies the space they need to grow and be themselves, to serve the Lord, and to have full and wonderful lives. My time with them will, probably, be less than when they were small, but quality time is always special.
Dusty, my oldest, turned 19 this week. He graduated from high school this year and has been called to go into the ministry. Dusty is his own person. He has the assurance that God has called him. He is dark and handsome like his Papa. I see my husband in him. He has his outgoing personality and his laughter and sense of humor. My husband had him golfing when he could barely walk. When he played baseball, he could bat left or right-handed and my husband had hopes he would grow up and play professional. After his Papa died, Dusty never played ball again. He told me that was just between him and his Pop. He was a fantastic Wrestler in high school.
Turning 50 did not bother me, but when Dusty got his driver’s license I felt suddenly shocked to have a grandson who could drive. How do the years speed by so quickly? My children shouldn’t be that old!
When he was 16, Dusty was suddenly no longer Grandmommy’s darling. He stopped visiting. Absolutely no kisses or hugs. He would not even say he loved me. It hurt so bad I thought I would die. Then, just as suddenly, after about a year and a half, he changed back into his loving self. He often comes to stay the night. He now calls me"Gram".
Next was Nikki. Tall, blue-eyed and blonde, Nikki could be a model if she wanted, but she has no interest in that sort of thing. She is very artistic and loves art and history. I always thought she would be an interior designer like me, but no. For years she wanted to be a vetinarian. Now she wants to teach.
My beautiful, sweet Nikki spent more time with me than anyone else. She stayed every Friday night with me, whether the other kids were visiting or not. Right before she turned 16 she just turned off her affection for me. No visits, no hugs or kisses. If I said, “I love you Nikki,” she would answer, “I know you do.” Of course, it hurt, but I was ready for it. This was normal, I admitted to myself. I will go through this with each of them and they will all come back to me as Dusty had. And she did.
My son’s children, who live in SC, have always spent Summer and Christmas vacation with me, but as they have grown and their interests have taken precedence, the time has grown shorter. This year, they could not come until July. I was sad about this, but not lonely.
Nikki spent nearly the entire month of June with me! She enjoyed driving me around. She helped paint the shelves I built in the kitchen. Nikki has a crazy sense of humor and we laughed for hours. We sat up all night, watching the entire series of “Absolutely Fabulous” on Netflix and laughing, laughing, laughing. I had forgotten how to laugh. How to open my mouth, lay back my head and laugh till tears streamed down my face. Nikki taught me how to laugh again.
When Austin, Malia, and Collin arrived, she went home. Poor kids! It has been obvious to me that they did not want to be here. They had things to do, people to be with, and a month in Georgia was not their idea of a good time. I love their mom for making them come. I am so happy they are here, but it is tinged with sadness, because I realize this is probably the last time they will come for a long visit.
Austin is blonde, tall and handsome. I can hardly believe it is my baby in the photo of him and his girl at the ROTC military ball. He is kind, a little shy, maybe, and he is an aggressive competitor like his Papa. Austin wants to be a Computer Engineer. He already has his driver’s permit, because he lives in SC.
Like all kids today, Austin is crazy about video games. He and Tater (Collin) usually argue over my game systems, but he now has an I-phone and does all his gaming on it. He has a large set of head-phones and the only time I have seen him without them is at church or in the pool. He is either talking to his girlfriend, friends or playing a game. Or sleeping. He stays up all night and sleeps during the day. We have had breakfast together a couple of times, while the other kids were still asleep and before he went to sleep. I think I have had three really great hugs and “I love you, Gramdma” out of him during this month. Sigh. I know he is next to go through the “distance” stage.
Malia is a beautiful brunette. When she was small, she looked like Shirley Temple, with unbelievably beautiful curls, which she now tames with a straightening iron. I really miss those curls! Quite the young lady, Malia is artistic and wants to be a lawyer. Malia reminds me of me when I was young. I can’t exactly say why. She has a great sense of humor and a very serious side. She absolutely did not want to come for this long visit. She has two half-siblings, babies, and as their little mother she misses them terribly. Thank goodness for modern communication technology! She has visited several nights with Nikki and it has relieved her boredom. She is musically talented as well. She plays the Viola and is in many concerts with her school. Malia has always looked at books and magazines with me and we shared our opinions of clothes, people, décor and more. The fact that we have not done this at all is a sure sign that she is already entering into the dreaded “distance” phase.
Tater (Collin) just turned 11 years old. He still shows his love and affection but freely admits to me that he did not want to come this year for such a long visit. Tater has the most beautiful eyes, with eyelashes that make girls jealous. He is highly intelligent like his dad and Papa. He reads well above his age level. He carries on conversations with the uncanny seriousness and depth that many adults find difficult. He is insightful and empathetic. He loves Wrestling and I feel he will follow in Dusty’s footsteps and be on the wrestling team. Tater's dream is to play football for UGA. Then, play professionally. He solemnly reports that teaching is his fallback plan.
I have always tried to make my grandchildren’s visits special. I have gathered a giant notebook of material on games and art projects, picnic ideas, and much more. I have taught them all the principles of art, light, and color. I have tried to give them the benefit of my own artistic experience and education. Now that they have grown into young adults I realize that I must now learn from them. I must understand their experiences and their tastes and desires. These are now the things that shape their lives.
Visits will now lessen to once or twice a month and even then I might not get them all at once. My son complained recently that there are times he cannot get all three because of various school events or activities with friends. He’s going to have it rough when they start dating!
Growing up is an experience we all must go through. At 57, I am still growing. Still learning. Inside this aging body, I am still 18! Still the Girl who was afraid of nothing and thought she could accomplish anything she set out to do. Fearless! Well, maybe not fearless anymore. I am intelligent enough, I hope, to give my grandbabies the space they need to grow and be themselves, to serve the Lord, and to have full and wonderful lives. My time with them will, probably, be less than when they were small, but quality time is always special.